/b/ - Random

Anything posted here are autistic works of fiction, only a fool would take them seriously.

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Anonymous Global volunteer 03/25/2016 (Fri) 22:08:56 [Preview] No. 3255 [Reply]
We Need You
Okay people listen up we are looking for global janitors.

We need:
>Your username on the site.
>The times you're available (please include time zone).
>What will make you a good janitor.

Email your application at [email protected]

EDIT: to update email
Edited last time by odilitime on 09/02/2016 (Fri) 06:48:15.
85 posts and 102 images omitted.


Anonymous 12/21/2016 (Wed) 22:12:52 [Preview] No. 10744 del
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me


Anonymous 02/08/2017 (Wed) 00:25:50 [Preview] No. 11125 del
Applied


Anonymous 02/23/2017 (Thu) 03:17:10 [Preview] No. 11339 del
Will fuck


Anonymous 02/24/2017 (Fri) 07:57:42 [Preview] No. 11346 del
>>11339
You better.


Anonymous 03/09/2017 (Thu) 18:56:10 [Preview] No. 11450 del
>>11346
*you'd



Anonymous 10/07/2016 (Fri) 20:31:03 [Preview] No. 9494 [Reply]
I'm a pathetic faggot
3 posts and 2 images omitted.


Anonymous 10/09/2016 (Sun) 09:19:26 [Preview] No. 9599 del


Anonymous 10/09/2016 (Sun) 17:29:42 [Preview] No. 9609 del
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>>9601
What sane woman would allow her hymen to be taken away by a stranger. More over not even have her hymen taken away by a penis but a fucking screw driver? The fact she's laughing in the second video makes this all so unreal.


Anonymous 12/26/2016 (Mon) 00:46:23 [Preview] No. 10813 del
nice VHS aesthetics


Anonymous 12/26/2016 (Mon) 14:42:09 [Preview] No. 10831 del
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>>9609
>don't know the famous blue screwdriver
>don't know there are dozens of deflowering videos using the same blue screwdriver

How does it feel to know a screwdriver got more virgin women than your dick?


Anonymous 03/27/2017 (Mon) 15:59:47 [Preview] No. 11583 del
>>10831

What's the story behind the blue screwdriver guy?



Anonymous 02/10/2017 (Fri) 03:39:51 [Preview] No. 11162 [Reply]
Ask a pedo thread? ask a pedo thread
>inb4 kys
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Anonymous 03/17/2017 (Fri) 10:18:36 [Preview] No. 11532 del
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>>11530
No there isn't. Imagine it all like this inequality
(Taking her innocence)>(Her being innocent)>(Her not being innocent). The wholesome attribute to it I guess you could say is that I can appreciate child's beauty like most adults can't however you wanna interpret that one. As for the last one, I don't let this define my persona in real life, except the fact that I'm an introvert and always give off a creepy vibe, other than that everything seems to be okay.


Anonymous 03/24/2017 (Fri) 04:04:02 [Preview] No. 11574 del
Get far away from America. Trump has moronically tweeted that something has to be done about “missing children grabbed by the perverts” and suggested that a “fast trial” followed by the “death penalty” is the answer.


Anonymous 03/24/2017 (Fri) 17:30:07 [Preview] No. 11575 del
>>11574
I'm not from US though


Anonymous 03/26/2017 (Sun) 11:36:18 [Preview] No. 11581 del
WHAT ARE THE TOP 10 CHILD PORNS


Anonymous 03/27/2017 (Mon) 04:05:26 [Preview] No. 11582 del
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>>11581
10. This one's gotta be April, there's just no other way
9. It's hard for me but I gotta give this one to May. She always took his father's cock in the ass like a champ.
8. Okay, maybe this is not really a child porn, but still, it's an illegal child modelling, It's January, cute girl, cute face, good stuff.
7. This one's gotta an nn model as well, It's September. January has always been the cute one, but September was always the hot one on the other hand, mmhm mmhm, I love me some blonde lolis.
6. What a top 10 child porn list would be, without the goddess herself, October, she's like a classic at this point. +Everyone remembers her saying that cum tastes like salty milk.
5. I know a lot of you are gonna give me flak for this, but the fifth place goes to November. Yes, she may wasn't good at deepthroating and puked a lot while trying to, but the girl had was dedicated and that's to be appreciated.
4. I think July takes this one. His fat father fucked her good and she took it all without complaining.
3. Deciding among the three last ones is gonna be hard, but, I'm gonna give the third place to another nn model, August, she was very underappreciated and still is, despite her angelic looks.
2. I think this one was to be expected, it's December. She's a classic as well at this point. She may not liked sucking dick too much, but at least she made some nice vids with her sister, March.
1. This is gonna be the most controversial one, but I gotta give the first place to February, the video she made is a work of art, the way she cries when her father is rubbing her cock against her clit and telling her, that she is his little whore and is gonna cum all over her, need I say more?



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cheap kik slut Anonymous 03/08/2017 (Wed) 15:31:40 [Preview] No. 11427 [Reply]
whore from my city selling nudes

her kik is mandyyh2000


Anonymous 03/08/2017 (Wed) 15:37:19 [Preview] No. 11428 del
stop lying

and stop spamming uggos


Anonymous 03/09/2017 (Thu) 18:26:24 [Preview] No. 11443 del
>>11427
Not bad , but still. Who is she ?


Anonymous 03/26/2017 (Sun) 01:11:45 [Preview] No. 11580 del
Damn son! Dox and rape? Yes



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POSTMODERNISM Anonymous 03/18/2017 (Sat) 19:59:44 [Preview] No. 11549 [Reply]
Hey, /b/.

I've got a story to tell you. It is about da time da SYMBAHLEHSM attacked.

>Be me
>18, Living off n33t d0llars with sister and parents
>Sister walks outside to get muh diet coke because I'm too lazy to get up
>Brings in da six packs
>I thank her and she goes to her room silently
>Briefly fantasise about getting down with her
>Lift diet coke to mouth
>Diet coke spills all over muh Hawaiian shirt
>cantwakeup.jpg
>Lick stain
>Mother ignores me as usual
>Father pretends to like me
>His smile is rather strained

Message too long. Click here to view full text.

1 post and 1 image omitted.


Stream of consciousness Anonymous 03/18/2017 (Sat) 22:37:18 [Preview] No. 11551 del
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Harry Potter lay, dreaming. In his mind there is a hat, suspended. It comes unhinged, travelling beyond the dream. The hat finds a sunlit hill, studded with flowers and children gorging themselves on chocolate. Chewing faces are smeared with brown residue. Perched atop the hill on its brim, the hat is still. It rolls down the hill, skating between the chocolate-stuffed children. It comes to one child, and stops. Without chocolate, the child stares blankly at its neighbors, filled with emptiness. The hat points its empty bottom at the child and sprays a glittering beam of rainbows. They encircle the child's hands, transforming them into chocolate. Tears of joy streak down the child's smile as it begins eating its hands. The hat flies into the sky. The child waves a brown stump.

The hat ascends to a palace of clouds. Within, God, bearded and weeping, sits beside a mountain of tiny angels. One by one, he picks them up and tears off their wings. He then places them into separate baskets. The hat approaches god, and the rainbow is deployed. It encircles God's crotch. A giant chocolate phallus emerges from God's robes. Dropping his broken angel, he breaks off a piece of his candy member and smears it on his lips. With a chocolate-studded smile, he slowly raises his fist and gives the hat a thumbs-up.

The hat travels into space. It finds itself before the sun. It is a tiny dot before the immensity of the cosmic fire. The hat trembles. A tremendous rainbow issues forth, embracing the sun like a wedding vow. The fire cools and deadens. A chocolate tidal wave roars from its poles and meets at the center. On earth, the skies blacken. The flowers turn to dust. Humanity expires silently, like an infant in its crib. The hat drifts through space, dreamless.


Anonymous 03/19/2017 (Sun) 08:05:25 [Preview] No. 11561 del


Anonymous 03/19/2017 (Sun) 08:15:03 [Preview] No. 11562 del
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>>11551

One day, after the battle with Hideaki Anno, I was jerking off to Eiken so hard that my dick came of and entered the computer screen. Also, Thom Yorke strangled me to death.I chased my dick through the computer screen after giving Thom a thumbs up. After climbing through the silvery membrane, I landed onto a land made entirely of the film Magnifico by Maryo J. De los Reyes and Michiko Yamamoto. I walked across the DVDs and sometimes 2D projections of scenes from the movie. I ended up falling through a hole and found myself in the scene where Magnifico tries to concoct a remedy for the mortician's ailments. I then strangled Magnifico to death and shot his mother. I then beat the ailing mortician to death. I saw my dick whizzing around a corner so I chased it and fell into a black void. After a while, I fell into the We Were Here Tour by Jason Aldean in Evansville, Indiana. The dick crammed itself into Jason's rectal cavity, causing much screeching. I had to follow the dick up there.

TO BE CONTINUED...


Anonymous 03/19/2017 (Sun) 11:13:19 [Preview] No. 11563 del


Anonymous 03/25/2017 (Sat) 06:07:21 [Preview] No. 11579 del
fucking nerds stop writing so much

NO ONE CARES



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Anonymous 02/20/2017 (Mon) 19:37:36 [Preview] No. 11286 [Reply]
Should children be allowed to consent to sex reassignment surgery?
20 posts and 7 images omitted.


Anonymous 03/14/2017 (Tue) 20:00:03 [Preview] No. 11481 del
>>11319
>using volunteer tag while just posting as a normal anon

Fucking shit, kill your self. Pretty much a name fag at that point.


Anonymous 03/14/2017 (Tue) 22:44:20 [Preview] No. 11485 del
>>11481
Would you believe it if I told you I'm just not very smart?


Anonymous 03/15/2017 (Wed) 01:04:16 [Preview] No. 11487 del
>>11485
I'd believe it from any name fag.
Imageboards are not reddit.


Anonymous 03/20/2017 (Mon) 14:06:53 [Preview] No. 11566 del
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cffyclpEo2s [Embed]


Anonymous 03/25/2017 (Sat) 06:06:28 [Preview] No. 11578 del
no because tranny hunters want a cute clit



Anonymous 02/13/2017 (Mon) 15:08:58 [Preview] No. 11226 [Reply]
new webm thread?

old thread
>>6519
24 posts and 81 images omitted.


Anonymous 03/22/2017 (Wed) 01:36:22 [Preview] No. 11570 del
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Anonymous 03/23/2017 (Thu) 15:51:01 [Preview] No. 11572 del
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Anonymous 03/23/2017 (Thu) 19:40:44 [Preview] No. 11573 del
>>11570
Just stunning. I guess all that time hiding in his russian hotel room gave him the privacy to really think that through.


Anonymous 03/24/2017 (Fri) 19:53:16 [Preview] No. 11576 del
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Anonymous 03/25/2017 (Sat) 00:12:37 [Preview] No. 11577 del
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Anonymous 07/03/2016 (Sun) 19:04:13 [Preview] No. 7937 [Reply]
THE END
18 posts and 52 images omitted.


Anonymous 10/08/2016 (Sat) 01:00:50 [Preview] No. 9516 del
>>9514
It's a mascot thing, yes. But my vote was for the beard guy.


Anonymous 10/08/2016 (Sat) 01:43:13 [Preview] No. 9517 del
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>>9516
I can dig it.


Anonymous 12/27/2016 (Tue) 11:22:24 [Preview] No. 10842 del
bump


Anonymous 12/27/2016 (Tue) 21:30:10 [Preview] No. 10845 del
>>9516
I prefer the crazy ranting prophet mascot in the desert too.


Anonymous 03/22/2017 (Wed) 21:49:14 [Preview] No. 11571 del
Endchan needs more OC.



Anonymous 03/19/2017 (Sun) 22:12:17 [Preview] No. 11565 [Reply]
jofa thread appears


Anonymous 03/20/2017 (Mon) 21:27:15 [Preview] No. 11567 del
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>>11565
Do mean that you are a fingolian?
You better not be a banned refugee from ylis



Uncle Anonymous 03/13/2017 (Mon) 18:03:43 [Preview] No. 11466 [Reply]
Hog
Reprocessing
Uncle
Wednesday


Anonymous 03/13/2017 (Mon) 18:26:43 [Preview] No. 11468 del


Anonymous 03/13/2017 (Mon) 18:26:47 [Preview] No. 11469 del
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Anonymous 03/18/2017 (Sat) 07:07:52 [Preview] No. 11541 del


Anonymous 03/19/2017 (Sun) 16:08:26 [Preview] No. 11564 del
>>11469

HAHAHAHA, guys, look. I have just found out how to use my microscope to post 1000x pics! This is a 1.8mm hole in some metal! AH!